emoticons

emoticons are normally thought of as painfully uncool.
thought to be used exclusively by the junior high set,
with a smiley guy strategically placed at the end of the
encouraging sentiment "you go girl" in an instant message.
We are here to tell you that the emoticon is back in a big way.
Who ever thought one click would be able to summarize such
complex human feelingssuch as grief, jealousy, and nausea.
Instead of having to type outlengthy e-mail?s or ims explaining that you are
"chilling like a villain without the cream filling?
one can place a highly effective smiley guy with sunglasses instead.
So many hours, dare I say days,saved, not having to
clickity, clack, click such complicated descriptions of how we think or feel.
Plus, they annoy the hell out ofserious internet hipsters
when they are delivered with no sense of irony.
emoticons are a true American hero.
A frowny guy for osama bin laden!
a smiley guy for you, america! you go girl!!!

-industrial gothic megs